I had been living with my fiancé for 4 years, but we hadn’t had a serious conversation about our pasts. I was unsure of how he was going to respond when I finally told him that I used to be an escort in college. Despite my reservations, I knew I had to be honest with him about this part of my life and I was determined to do it.
The day I decided to tell him came with a lot of anxiety. I walked around my apartment all morning, trying to gather the courage to say the words. I thought about how he would take it and how he would react. There were so many questions running through my head, so many possibilities for how this could end. I was so nervous I had to take a few calming breaths before finally starting the conversation.
He had just come home from work and was in the kitchen, making dinner. I took a deep breath and walked into the room. He looked up from his work and smiled when he saw me.
“What’s up?” he asked.
“I have something I need to tell you,” I said, trying to sound as calm as possible.
He put the knife he was using down on the counter and looked at me with concern.
“What is it?” he asked, a hint of worry in his voice.
I knew it was now or never so I took a deep breath and just said it.
“I used to work as an escort in college,” I said.
He stayed silent as he processed the information. I could tell this was not the response he was expecting and I waited anxiously for his response. After what felt like an eternity, he finally spoke.
“Why didn’t you tell me before?” he asked, still processing what I had said.
“I was afraid,” I admitted. “I didn’t know how you would react.”
He nodded and looked away for a moment, thinking. When he looked back at me, I could see that he was trying to understand.
“Do you still do it?” he asked.
I shook my head and told him that I hadn’t done it in years. We talked for a long time about the time I spent working as an escort and he listened quietly, not judging me. I explained to him that I had done it for money and that it wasn’t a glamorous lifestyle.
When I finished talking, he put his arms around me and simply held me. We stayed that way for a long time, just being with each other in silence. After that, it felt like a weight had been lifted and I was finally able to be honest with him.
A few months later, I was surprised and relieved to find out that my fiancée was okay with my past. We had conversations about it and I felt like it brought us closer. We talked about how working as an escort had changed my life and how it had shaped me into the person I am today.
The experience also taught me a lot about relationships and consent. I learned that sex and love are separate things and that you don’t have to be in love with someone to have an enjoyable sexual experience. It was important for me to learn that it’s okay to want and enjoy sex while still respecting each other’s boundaries.
I’m glad that I was eventually able to tell my fiancé about my past because it brought us closer and made us stronger as a couple. While it was a difficult conversation to have, it also taught us a lot about communication and trust.
Since then, I have been more open with my fiancé and it has made our relationship stronger. We have been together for 6 years now and I can honestly say that I wouldn’t change a thing.
